If you see snow and your first thought isn’t that it’s time to go “up north” or you’re not filled with enthusiasm to hit the slopes, then you might not be thriving during winter…Many people struggle with winter for lots of different reasons. Depending on what has you down, there are different solutions to help winter feel a little smoother.
What do the Winter blues look like?+
The “Winter Blues” is a common term to describe the experience of feeling down during the post-holiday season when the weather takes a turn for the darker and colder. Many people experience the Winter Blues, with the Blues becoming more common the further north you go. Unlike Major Depressive Disorder, the Winter Blues is not an actual diagnosis and the feeling of being down is mostly related to the season and the environment. This is different from depression. Depression has a more intense level of symptoms that are not focused on a singular topic like the weather or season. Still, the Winter Blues should be taken seriously because of its impacts on our ability to connect with ourselves and others and feel joy!
Seasonal Affective Disorder
Seasonal Affective Disorder is a specific type of depression. Depression is a mental health condition that affects how we feel about ourselves and the world. Depression can also influence a person’s mood, energy level, self-esteem, and ability to connect with others. This is because depression shuts off access to our emotions. Seasonal Affective Disorder is the version of depression that happens ONLY during one season. Usually that season is winter. If you notice that you are feeling down and depressed during most winters but not during other times of the year, you may be experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder. If you are feeling depressed because of specific stressors that show up every winter (like regular unemployment in the winter, yearly financial challenges, or being away from friends for Winter break) then the Winter season might not be the problem. However, therapy can help a lot with these challenges as well!
It’s very normal to have thoughts of wanting to hurt yourself or kill yourself during the winter. If you are experiencing those thoughts, reach out for support immediately. A therapist or the following resources are waiting to provide immediate support to you:
Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 (Text Available)
Trevor Project - 24/7 LGBTQIA+ Support: 1-866-7386 (Text “start” to 678-678)
Trans Lifeline: 1-877-565-8860
RAINN - National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
Crisis Text Line: 741-741
What causes the Winter blues?+
The Holiday Season
The winter holidays can be an exciting time to celebrate! For those who celebrate holidays like Hanukkah, Christmas, or the New Year, it can be a festive season filled with joy and wonder. But the focus on these holidays can also lead those who don’t celebrate them to feeling more disconnected. For those who don’t celebrate these holidays, it can feel like the season is not for them. This is particularly true for people not celebrating Christmas. The intense excitement and focus on a holiday that you’re not affiliated with can wear on moods over time. This is particularly true if you are already feeling underrepresented, marginalized, or targeted because of your religion or ethnicity.
There are other reasons the holiday season isn’t the most joyous time of the year for everyone. Holidays can serve as a home base for memories and experiences, both joyful and painful. For those who have lost loved ones, the absence of that person during such an important time often brings a rush of grief. That loss could be the death of a loved one, but it could also be moving away from a close friend, not living close to family anymore, or a parent moving away after a divorce. It could also be the loss of an ability or experience, such as not being able play with your kids like you used to, not being able to be in warm parts of the world during winter months, not being able to eat fun holiday foods due to change in health or diet. The holiday season could also serve as a painful trigger for a traumatic experience.
The holidays also put a lot of pressure on people navigating eating disorders and substance issues by presenting an obstacle course of triggers and enticements. In many families and cultures, excess is part of the wonder of the season. Too much to eat. Too much to drink. Too much fun. Multiple parties and get-togethers. So many “special occasions” that tend to blur together. As a result, there is intense pressure and stress for individuals attempting to be mindful and find healthy balance with their eating and drinking behaviors. The increased stress can intensify symptoms and impulses for everyone who may use food and substance use as a less helpful coping mechanism.
Family
Winter is a season that many people spend with their family. Whether that is because of the holidays, vacation time, or being on winter break from school. For many people, spending increased time in close proximity to family is a challenge. Sometimes even something they dread. This stress is often building and is not quickly fixed, so a person is left holding onto that stress like a heavy weight. As it builds, the pressure leaks out in different ways, sometimes through irritable behavior, withdrawing, anxiety, or feeling down. These feelings can be even stronger for people with marginalized identities that the family may not accept or approve of. Holding constant secrets can be incredibly difficult and taxing. Knowing that a part of you is not accepted by those you love can erode self-esteem. Constant exposure to negative views of yourself is a hurtful experience that makes spending time with family extremely difficult and painful.
Weather
Lastly, there’s the most obvious villain of winter - the weather. It is cold and windy and unpleasant and harsh and even dangerous. It’s hard to feel warm in your house, in your car, at work, and definitely outside. Obviously, bears got it right when they checked out of the season all together. Fall was fine, but winter steals the sun, warmth, and even joy. Winter takes away the easy opportunities to spend time in the sun doing nothing, take a simple walk, go to friends’ or family’s houses, or take a drive or road-trip. The sun and fresh air are important ways that humans get energy and improve their mood. Connecting with others is another important way humans get energy and improve their mood. Doing fun activities is yet another important way humans get energy and improve their mood. The way winter restricts us from engaging in the things we love and need is a driving force behind the Winter Blues! Additionally, the weather extremes that are more noticeable during Winter (dangerously cold or unseasonably warm) can cause stress due to concerns about climate change. An anxiety that is increasingly common among teenagers and younger adults coming to therapy.
How to deal with the Winter blues?+
Coping
Reaching out to other people
The Winter Blues disconnects us from others. When we are disconnected our problems and challenges can build up like water behind a dam. Importantly, connection is more than spending time with people. Connection is sharing and being vulnerable. Using our emotions to grow closer to another person. It’s always helpful to start slow. Find a trusted person in your world and start by sharing a feeling that you’re comfortable with -maybe a happy experience you recently had! You can see how they respond and how you feel. If it went well, you can try a different emotion - maybe a small disappointment or irritation. And you can keep leveling up until you’re able to share more and more of yourself. The sneaky helpful part of this is that you’ll have begun to release the pressure that has been building up behind the dam. As you do this more and more, the pressure will lessen and your depressive symptoms will decrease.
For those who are struggling with feeling excluded from the holiday season or navigating challenging family dynamics during the winter, it is especially important to connect in the ways we can. This might mean keeping in touch with people who help you feel understood, supported, and included in-person or long-distance -whether you share with them about the problems you are dealing with or just check in with people you know have your back. This might also mean preparing for upsetting interactions by building up your sense of pride in yourself, your identities, and your community.
Planning activities
Emotions are connected to our thoughts, behaviors, and body’s feelings. That means we can change how we feel by changing what we do. This can be hard because the Winter Blues sap our energy and motivation. If we change our behavior, though, the motivation and energy will return. We just have to put in some energy to start. (See Opposite Action for more ideas about this!)
Overall, starting a routine can jump start our mood in the winter. Especially if that routine is filled with key pieces needed to take care of yourself. During winter, routines are thrown off by the change in light and how limited we feel because of the cold and darkness. Our sleep wants to follow the sun. This means we want to go to sleep much earlier than in the summer - throwing off our rhythm. It’s also harder to wake up without as much sun as well. For those reasons, improving sleep can feel intimidating. Luckily there are many specific actions you can take to improve your sleep.
One change that will help start your routine is waking up at the same time every single day. Even on the weekend. In a few weeks, the body adjusts to waking up at the same time, and will naturally feel sleepy at a time that makes you feel rested by the morning. Similarly, making time for regularly scheduled nutritious meals will increase your energy, mood, and appetite. The Winter Blues makes it harder to take care of ourselves and our space. Taking care of ourselves in these ways will help improve how we feel about ourselves and improve our mood.Something many people find helpful is buying a sun-lamp that will slowly introduce light into the bedroom in the morning. This mimics the sunrise and helps the wake-up process that can be so hard in total darkness.
Lastly, it will be important to schedule fun into your routine! This will feel hard at first because you may not enjoy things like you typically do and the weather may take some of your favorite hobbies off the table. However, when we are active and having fun, the joy has a reason to return! For that reason, you’ll want to take time to consider what you enjoy and what new activities you can try too! This is especially hard in the winter because it can be dangerously cold. The easiest (and most expensive way) to reclaim your winter is to make sure your wardrobe is winterized. You’ll need a warm winter coat that stops the wind, a hat, gloves, water/wind-proof boots, and water/wind-proof pants. This will protect you from the elements and give you the freedom to access the outdoors in comfort. Even if this is a multi-year thrifting investment, you will slowly be able to spend more and more time in the fresh air. Fresh air is incredibly important to human beings. The air and sun are natural ways we reinvigorate our body, giving us the energy that has been lacking. This also opens the opportunity for a variety of fun outdoor activities that can alleviate the Winter Blues. We can go for a short walk around the neighborhood, spend time in a local park, go for a walk in a county/state park, sit outside and enjoy a hot drink, go ice skating, or go sledding!
Of course, buying winter clothes all at once can be a costly investment, and we humans tend to look for the easiest way forward. During winter, that can mean staying in and watching TV, scrolling social media, or playing video games until we go to bed - leaving us unfulfilled, bored, sapped of energy, and feeling down. When our brains aren’t challenged, our energy levels stay flat. When we use our brains, we’re increasing our energy. A simple way to do this would be to do what is easiest for you (e.g. TV, video games) and making it different! For example, instead of watching your comfort TV show or favorite video game, watch a show or play a video game you have never seen or played before. The brain needs to work harder when it’s doing something different. That keeps us engaged and more energized as a result! It is also helpful to try new hobbies for yourself. Maybe this is knitting, cooking, puzzling, baking, music, art, stand-up comedy, or something else. Once again, challenging the brain and doing something you enjoy will help increase energy and joy in life. It’s not important that you become the best at whatever hobby you choose. The challenge and joy found in the process is what helps.
Seeking out the sun
Do you remember the last time you saw the sun? If you’re thinking about it, you might not be getting as much sunlight that you need. Exposure to sunlight is essential for human beings to thrive. But during the winter, it’s common to leave for school or work before the sun comes out and leave work after the sun sets. That means a person could go 5 days without seeing the sun! Longer if it’s overcast or snowing on the weekend! Making an effort to see the sun can help boost low moods brought on by the Winter Blues. If the sun is out on the weekend, it would be helpful to bundle up and step outside (if it’s not dangerous). Even a few minutes outside can give us the exposure our bodies need to feel more energized. Another idea is to take sick/mental health days during the winter months. If you have the ability to take a health day from your job, it is worth considering. This can afford a needed break from the monotony of work, the energy you have been lacking, and the time you need to do enjoyable things for yourself. All things the harshest 12 weeks of the year take away.
Mindset
Emotions are connected to our thoughts, behaviors, and body’s feelings. That means we can also change how we feel by changing our mindset. This is particularly challenging during winter because the lens through which we look at the world darkens - like constantly wearing a pair of sunglasses. The brain becomes more and more practiced at looking through this lens, making it almost automatic. However, the brain can be taught to think differently with practice, until this new way of thinking becomes automatic.
Expectations
Our (sometimes inaccurate) expectations of winter can contribute to the feeling that it is long and exhausting. People often think of winter as beginning after Thanksgiving or with December. People often think that winter should end in February. Every day after that “end date” is another thorn in the side. Another example of winter withholding happiness from the world. This is an even easier mindset to have with the Winter Blues when we are primed to look for negatives. However, understanding the course of the season helps set expectations and not feel as though negatives are piling up. Winter actually begins near the Winter Solstice (the day of the year with the least amount of sunlight) and ends near the end of March. So understanding that December will get colder and the sunlight will decrease, but that it will be the most cold and dark for January, February, and March will help set appropriate expectations. Importantly, because the Winter Solstice signals the start of Winter, it also means that sunlight will slowly begin to increase. You can expect February to bring the first meaningful difference in sunlight when sunset finally falls after 5pm! Looking at all of the winter months together can feel intimidating, thinking about the season week-by-week can help to break down the “problem” into more manageable pieces.
Mindfulness
Another helpful mindset shift is regarding temperature. Winter is cold. Sometimes dangerously cold. Because of the anticipation of being cold, people’s mindset with temperature tends to shift. Similarly to how looking through sunglasses makes us find darkness more readily, the Winter Blues makes us find the cold more easily as well. For that reason, when we sense colder temperatures or feel the sensation of cold, we may immediately think that we are cold. However, our body may actually feel comfortable, but sensing cold can make us think that we need to be warm when we do not. To better understand our body’s experience with cold and Winter, practicing mindfulness is important. Mindfulness means paying attention to the present moment without judgment. Mindfulness is paying attention to what we choose to focus on. Over time, paying close attention to our body’s temperature will help improve our relationship with colder temperatures and help us know if we need more layers or we are actually comfortably experiencing the winter weather!
Radical acceptance
Overall, the Winter Blues can feel like an inescapable avalanche that keeps us down for a number of reasons. At our most stuck, the best way to climb out of the deep snow starts with fully accepting our experience. A sneaky trap is thinking that Winter shouldn’t be this way…life shouldn’t be this way…it can’t get better…it won’t get better…just have to wait for Spring.
All these traps keep us stuck in the snow. To escape, the first step is accepting the reality of the season and our mood. Next, think of everything you would actively do if you did accept the reality of the situation. From there, fully engaging in those behaviors wholeheartedly while accepting the situation will shift your mindset and mood. It is important to make space for all your feelings in this process. Whether it is grief, sadness, anger, disappointment, fear, or anything else. This shift is meant to connect a person with their whole experience more fully. Part of getting unstuck is acknowledging what is causing the stuckness. Then, we can finally engage with the toughest season of the year.
